Have you ever wanted to pour a beer on someone’s head? I have and I’ve done it. I also managed to “accidentally” spill a plate of gravy down the front of a biotch who was giving me a hard time while waiting tables, years ago. Oops! treat your wait staff right, people! Tip generously and watch your mouth!

I got this from my sister because she thinks Maxine and I are a lot alike.  Well after reading this one, I have to agree!  I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

Maxine on – Retirement as a Wal-Mart Greeter

Unfortunately, as I have gotten older, I have become a little less sensitive. So, after trying my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, last weekend (a good find for many retirees), I lasted less than a day……

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, coyote ugly, nasty woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, ‘Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’

The ugly, nasty woman stopped yelling long enough to say, ‘Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?’

So I replied, ‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am. I just find it hard to believe you got laid twice.

Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.’

My 25 year old supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work…….. soooo maybe I’ll go fishing.

A lot of kids have trouble with math.  One of my waitresses sons is one of those kids.  What he really needs is math help, you know, like a tutor. Tutors can be expensive though and this little lady is doing good to get by now.  As luck would have it, I found free math help online for the little fella.  No she does not have a computer but I sure do and would be glad to let him use it to better his math grades.  I had no idea that you could find online math tutoring but you can.

One of the great things about this online math tutor is they can help children from grades K-12.  Even college students can get online math help if they need it.   I once knew a lady that did reading tutoring and she charged $25 an hour.  That’s a lot of money for a tutor but that was also a long time ago.  It’s probably more like $50 an hour now I bet.  This is a great service for students and parents to have free online math tutoring if you ask me.  Our children need all the help they can get to have a good education after all.

Wait a minute!!  Shouldn’t someone have talent in singing or something like that to be a judge on American Idol?  Well I have never known Ellen Degeneres to sing, dance or even act that well so how do they expect her to be a judge?

Besides, wouldn’t there be a chance she might be biased towards women?  I don’t know but I have never really cared for her very much anyway.  I like Paula Abdul much better than Ellen but we’re all allowed to have our own opinion, right?????

You know how a lot of homes have a sign in their yard with ADT or Brinks Security or one of the many other alarm systems that is installed in their home?  Well a lot of those homes still get broken into but I have found a sigh that just might help stop some of the home break-ins.

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